The Plantagenet Prattle

The Plantagenet Prattle

First with hottest news in the court! Reporters risk life and limb (not to mention head and neck) to bring you the stories “THEY” don’t want you to hear!

Will he or won’t he? The city of London is ablaze with rumors that as soon as the Queen draws her last breath, (God bless the sweet lady!) the King will seek a dispensation from the Rome to marry his – gasp! I can barely say it – his eldest niece. Ridiculous, you say!

Those of us who have seen the system at its worst are not totally convinced that you couldn’t get a dispensation to marry your horse if you put up enough money and found the right powerful person.

The rumors began shortly after the last late King’s wife and daughters left sanctuary, after spending almost a year in the Abbey. ‘Tis said this Dowager Queen, the King’s own sister-in-law, has forced the King to agree to allow them their freedom, to provide generously for their upkeep, and to allow her some say in the girl’s upbringing.

Sadly, only a few months later, the King’s only child, died leaving his parents beside themselves with grief. The Queen’s health is deteriorating rapidly; she is bed-ridden and not expected to survive. There are those who claim she is being slowly poisoned by her husband. I have found no corroboration but feel it my duty to report what I hear.

At the recent Christmas Court, both the ailing Queen and her niece wore almost identical dresses – paid for by the King!

Now the Queen’s ladies doth swear that this was the Queen’s idea but few people believe that. One particularly waspish witness to the Christmas revels swears that no woman as wraithlike and ill as the Queen would ever have willingly consented to allow a comparison like that. The Queen was no match for a glowing and breathtakingly beautiful, young woman.

The buzz in the alehouses and taverns is that even the King’s close advisors are squeamish about the prospect of an uncle and niece marrying each other. They acknowledge the King’s need for a legitimate, healthy heir, something his present wife could not and now cannot provide.

The rumors are thick from France that another claimant to the throne is planning an invasion of England to overthrow the King!

How many kings can England stand in so short a time?

Rumor has it that the young throne grabber’s mother is conspiring with the young princess’ own mother to overthrow the king. Perhaps whoever wins will not matter to the girl as she will be Queen either way.

Word is out that the King will call a Council meeting on the morrow. England is breathless in anticipation. What will he say?

Can you guess of whom I speak?

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